While my partner and I were paying our respects to Eric Talley, the fallen Boulder PD officer who doubtless saved lives on Monday, it occurred to me that the last Boulder officer killed in the line of duty was Beth Haynes- she was responding to a domestic violence call on April 16, 1994, in which a male suspect intended to kill a woman who did not want a relationship with him. He shot officer Haynes in the parking lot of an apartment building as she moved from behind her car to protect a bystander who had ignored her orders to clear the area. Score another one for Toxic Masculinity. Women are certainly capable of homicidal rage, but in terms of statistics they generally aren’t the ones going berserk with firearms in public.
Maybe it’s very old wiring from our hunter-gatherer ancestors gone awry, or maybe it’s the way boys are socialized in modern society… likely both. Regardless of the root of the problem, the people who least understand Toxic Masculinity are generally the most in need of learning about it, and it’s clear that our weapons have evolved faster than the ability of certain people to handle them. Most Americans can agree on the idea of prohibiting firearms sales to people deemed mentally ill in the classic sense of the term, but Toxic Masculinity isn’t generally considered a mental illness- in fact, it’s considered a positive personality trait in many circles (including among women in those circles). That is, until someone goes berserk in public from all the pent up rage and blinding fear of dealing with anything they were told isn’t “manly.”
We have some things to sort out as we try to move into a better way of living with each other and with the natural world. Figuring out how to be happier, healthier, more caring people isn’t done overnight, but if we keep at it we can get somewhere- we already have in a number of ways, so there’s evidence to suggest the efforts are worthwhile. What we could do in a relatively short time is limit the types of deadly weaponry available to anyone with a bad temper. Again, there’s evidence to suggest the efforts are worthwhile.
Peter Stokes 